Archive for July, 2014

Satire: NEWS FLASH!! US Republicans Christians join with Saudi Arabian Muslims to promote shared religious, cultural and political ideals

Posted on: July 1st, 2014 by Tom Pattillo No Comments

Editorial Note

I have many friends and associates living and working in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates. I tutor young students (from both those countries) attending Canadian universities. They will complete their graduate degrees in Canada and return home after graduation.

I lived in the United Arab Emirates from 2006 to 2011. During that time I met many Muslim people both national Emirati citizens and ex-pat Muslims from Jordan and Palestine. I am a strong Christian and gained the respect of my Muslim friends because each of us were comfortable with our spiritual decisions and I read the Qu’ran (in English) to give me an appreciation of Islam.

In preparation for a planned, but unfortunately uncompleted, PhD, I researched Arab traditions, current cultural norms, and the potential futures for the Emirati female cohort born after 1980. My objective in research of this nature is always to understand not judge. While I might not wish to live my life as accepted and defended by many of the young people I met, taught, and worked with, I do respect the choice made by these young women.

Although I do not support those practices and behaviors that can physically or emotionally damage these young women,I am experienced enough in the process of corporate change to know that external attacks on a group rarely bring about change, but rather just make opposition stronger. I am a teacher and a catalyst, and I love to challenge people to see behind culture walls that too often come between mutual understanding.

So, in homage to Jon Stewart, I offer the following:


US Republicans Christians join with Saudi Arabian Muslims to promote shared religious, cultural and political ideals

Dateline: Washington, DC, USA and Mecca, Saudi Arabia

May 30, 2014.

Senior US Republican and senior Saudi Arabian leaders issued a joint communique confirming their support for each other’s religious, cultural, and  political ideas:

We share fundamental views and beliefs:

the sanctity of the connection between church and state

the need for appropriate values in dress, education

the role of women in controlling their bodies

the meaning of marriage and behaviors of married people

the illegal, unscientific, morally wrong, and anti-religious life choice

the value of having one party line; allowing for no dissension, questions, alternative ideas.

We both believe there must be no taxes, that inheritance laws must always favor the children receiving the money, and that the concept of the rentier state is a logical, valid, and beneficial approach to a society’s success.

Other fascinating similarities include: controlling the clothes citizens can wear, the need for more prisons for those who do not accept the superiority of “ruling” party, media that can say anything without proof, logic, compassion, intelligence or understanding, and ensuring citizen compliance by arming as many of their followers with arms and ammunition to maintain peace and order.

Both groups unilaterally declare that these mutual, compatible, and superior beliefs will lead to a world where there will be lasting world peace, satisfied and successful citizens and world free of dissension, anger, and blood shed.